Hello there I'm Rachel and I am 15
sO TODAY I WENT TO THE BANK WITH MY MOM AND SHE WAS GETTING MONEY AND SHE SAID “YOU HAVE TO KEEP THIS MONEY IN A SAFE PLACE” SO I WENT TO HER EAR AND WHISPERED “IN MY BUTTHOLE” AND I GUESS THE BANK LADY HEARD ME BECAUSE SHE STARTED LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AND SHE COULDN’T STOP
(via foreverfreefalliing)
my director yesterday was like ‘alright grab the nearest hottest person and kiss them on the lips’ as a joke so i said ‘haha i can’t kiss myself’ and no one heard except this one guy and so he stole my joke and shouted ‘I CAN’T KISS MYSELF’ really loud and everyone laughed and that’s the first time i killed man… just kidding it wasn’t the first.
(via g-iggle)
- Me: Do you want any help mom?
- Mom: No thanks sweetie.
- *5 minutes later*
- Mom: HONEST TO GOD IT'S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE. IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK I'D COME BACK AND YOU'D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES. HONESTLY I DO SO MUCH AND I'M NOT EVEN VALUED DO YOU EVEN CARE? NO YOU DON’T.
imagine seeing a photo of yourself that you’ve never seen before used as a reaction pic
(via paging-doctorfaggot)
dropping out of school to move to the United States and become and illegal kinder egg dealer
we need people like you
(via punkbeds)
Is it just me or do the insides of strawberries look like vaginas?
oh my god
get’s funnier when you realize that fruit are plant overies
(via naughtyrice)
today a guy confirmed that at boy sleepovers they do in fact talk about girls and who they like a good majority of the time i just thought this would be useful information
Why does this have so many notes? What did you think we do at sleepovers? Meth? Animal sacrifice?Well thats what girls do
(via punkbeds)
